Some Sanity on Michael Phelp’s Bong Hits

Politics, Well Worth Reading, ,

The oft-crazy columnist Kathleen Parker offers a sane response to photographs of Michael Phelps hitting a bong, taking on at the same time the senselessness of our marijuana laws.

Understandably, parents worry that their kids will emulate their idol, but the problem isn’t Phelps, who is, in fact, an adult. The problem is our laws — and our lies.

Obviously, children shouldn’t smoke anything, legal or otherwise. Nor should they drink alcoholic beverages, even though their parents might.

There are good reasons for substance restrictions for children that need not apply to adults.

That’s the real drug message that should inform our children and our laws, rather than the nonsense that currently passes for drug information.

Today’s anti-drug campaigns are slightly wonkier than yesterday’s “Reefer Madness,” but equally likely to become party hits rather than drug deterrents. One recent ad produced by the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy says: “Hey, not trying to be your mom, but there aren’t many jobs out there for potheads.” Whoa, dude, except maybe, like, president of the United States.

Illegal Use of Joe Zopp in the Beloit International Film Festival

FLYMF Alums, Movies, ,

Illegal Use of Joe Zopp, the hilarious feature film created by FLYMF co-founder Nick Holle and his amigos in WutWutAlma Productions, will be playing in the Beloit International Film Festival the weekend of February 19-22.

The details:

Zopp will play at the restaurant theater at Atlanta Bread Company, 2747 Milwaukee Road, Beloit, Wis., on Friday and Sunday. The two screenings are:
— Friday, February 20, 2009 at 7:30 pm
— Sunday, February 22, 2009 at 5:00 pm

Anyone near the Beloit area should  head out to support the independent filmmakers. Their movie is great (aided, of course, by a gut-busting cameo by yours truly), and they deserve a big audience.

Review: The Exciting Life and Death of the Amazing Henry and Other Stories by Bobby D. Lux

Books, FLYMF Alums, , ,

Bobby D. Lux’s short-story collection, The Exciting Life and Death of the Amazing Henry and Other stories, offers an exciting combination of voice and setting. The book’s thirteen stories revolve around the Morelli brothers, Vincenzo and Ernesto, both of whom serve as mob enforcers. The non-cumulative stories walk them through the stranger realms of their service, spending time with the brothers as they intimidate their way through community theater, costumed-dinosaur races and the forced “retirement” of the greatest ape magician in the tri-county area.]

Lux does an excellent job of characterizing the Morelli brothers, balancing talkative Ernesto against gruff Vincenzo as they squabble their way through a lifetime of jobs. Vincenzo is particularly well-crafted—blunt and uncompromising, but also resentful of the distancing he’s imposed upon himself.

The stories are imaginative, balancing fantastic elements—superheroes, reclusive movie stars with futuristic technology—with the understated sentiment of homeless men in gas stations, toughs in bars and paralyzed veterans in isolated diners. The variety of settings keep the stories fresh, even as Ernesto and Vincenzo provide a narrative anchor. Occasionally the tales can spin a little wild—“An Occurrence at Tommy’s” shifts Ernesto from hitman to Wrestlemania star to U.S. President in a matter of pages—but that only reflects the imagination behind them. There are also some hiccups in the copy, but they don’t detract from the strong voice and inventive settings. An exciting read.

Bobby was a longtime FLYMF contributor; he has a number of stories in FLYMF’s Greatest Hits. Bobby’s FLYMF work includes When The Camera Stopped Rolling, Mike Tyson Movie Reviews, O’Neill ‘Scopes’ An Early Career, Monkey Dance, Outrageous Claims, In Memorium, Adventures In Time Travel, The Worst Story Ever, Batman Begins By Superman, The Coreys, Tonto’s Shocking Discovery, Vegas Wedding, The Solution To America’s Problems, Superman Returns, The Pirates Of Swenxof, and “Sly” Nostalgia.

Zachary Locklin on the Moe Green Poetry Hour!

FLYMF Alums, , , , , ,

FLYMF’s Greatest Hits contributor Zachary Locklin is now appearing on blogtalkradio’s  Moe Green Poetry Hour. He’s doing a reading and talking about his work with poet Joseph Ross and host Rafael F.J. Alvarado. You can tune in now or listen to the stream later.


Zach just plugged FLYMF’s Greatest Hits! Thanks Zach!


His story for FLYMF’s Greatest Hits is I Am A Conservationist, which is very funny. Zach also had a story, “All the Hurt You Have Caused and Will Cause to Others,” published in the July 2008 issue of Magnapoets.

South Bend’s Indominatable Spirit

Humor, , ,

I maintain that whenever my hometown of South Bend, Indiana, shows up in the national news, it’s because something extremely weird happened.

Whether it’s a marauding pack of dogs eating most of the wallabies in Potawatomi Zoo, a man stabbing his brother over a Hot Pocket, a small airplane landing on US-31 (possibly the busiest stretch of road in town), someone murdering homeless people and stuffing them into manholes downtown, or an elderly man tackling a naked crack addict who was in the process of chasing middle-school girls at their bus stop (oh, how I wish I still had a link for that last one), some seriously weird stuff goes on there.

But I’d be remiss if I didn’t also reference South Bend’s lively spirit, epitomized by the Chicago Sun-Times (via the AP) in their story, “83-year-old gets lost dancing at inauguration.”

To quote the article, it doesn’t sound like he got lost at all:

Mussa Muhammad says his “spirit jumped sky-high” when President Barack Obama took the oath of office Tuesday. He became separated from his group and, he says, “just danced and danced” with a couple of young women he met along the way.

Muhammad’s tour group waited five hours for him, but left Washington after tour leaders spoke with his wife. Rev. Lefate Owens of Elkhart Community Missionary Baptist Church says she assured them that Muhammad would be all right.

…

He arrived in South Bend Wednesday, still wearing the black-and-white suit with red dots that he wore to the inauguration.

The South Bend Tribune article has more details (and a photo of the suit, which the AP description does not give justice). It’s a must read, even if you didn’t grow up there.

Update: The story made all of the local news channels as well. Some highlights:

NBC 16

Quote: “If there’s rhythm, it makes me move. This is how I missed the people. Girls coming from everywhere wanted to dance with me,” Muhammad explains.

How did he explain that to his wife?

“She knew. She’s the only lady in my life.”

There is also video of him dancing (but not in his suit).

WSBT 22 just have “Update: Missing South Bend Man Found in D.C.”, although they do add “Stay with WSBT.com for the latest on this developing story, and read more about it in Thursday’s South Bend Tribune.”

Finally, FOX 28 has a nice interview with the man and his wife, complete with footage of him wearing the suit, but there’s no footage of him dancing in it!

COME ON LOCAL NEWS, GIVE US WHAT WE WANT! Mussa Muhammad dancing in his suit! I don’t think that’s too much to ask.