All posts by James

About James

James Seidler is a writer living in Chicago. The editor for the now-defunct humor publication FLYMF, he has now decided to maintain his web presence and smart remarks through this blog.

Catching Up With The Convention

I finally was able to watch some of the Democratic National Convention last night, and I was impressed with the speeches offered by Bill Clinton and John Kerry. (Evan Bayh, on the other hand, did a good job of highlighting why shouldn’t have even been in the running for the Vice Presidential candidate).

I particularly liked the way Kerry reversed the flip-flop meme that targeted him to settle it on McCain instead (transcript from Crooks and Liars).

I have known and been friends with John McCain for almost 22 years, but every day now I learn something new about Candidate McCain. To those who still believe in the myth of a maverick instead of the reality of a politician, I say let’s compare Senator McCain to Candidate McCain.

Candidate McCain now supports the very wartime tax cuts that Senator McCain once called irresponsible. Candidate McCain criticizes Senator McCain’s own climate change bill. Candidate McCain says he would vote against the immigration bill that Senator McCain wrote.

Are you kidding me, folks?

(Laughter, cheers, applause.)

Talk about being for it before you’re against it!

(Cheers, applause.)

Let me tell you, before he ever debates Barack Obama, John McCain should finish the debate with himself.

McCain has reversed himself on nearly all of the issues that created his supposed “maverick” status. I think pointing out his inconsistencies, along with highlighting his general lockstep agreement with Bush, is the best way to persuade voters not to choose four more years of the same.

Illegal Use of Joe Zopp is Here!

All in all, it’s a pretty good story. A group of friends grow up together in a small Wisconsin town, graduate from high school and then college, and start following their own career paths. One gets a job in insurance; another works for a software company. Some stay at home; some move away. My buddy Nick Holle, co-founder of FLYMF, makes it all the way to Los Angeles, where we attend the Professional Writing Program at USC together.

A couple years down the road, though, they start to get the itch. They want to do something. So they chat on a message board they’ve set up, kicking around one idea after another, and finally they come up with a movie. The concept: “a child prodigy turned social outcast returns to his hometown to investigate the circumstances of his own death.”

Continue reading Illegal Use of Joe Zopp is Here! →

The Dark Knight Is Strongman Claptrap—A Spoiler-Laden Review

In The Dark Knight, the latest film featuring Christian Bale’s best attempts at a WWE-Smackdown! voice, the Joker’s greatest asset seems to be his ability to escape from any plot hole, no matter how large.

Want to threaten a meeting of the city’s top crime bosses? Just walk right in the back door. Feel like shooting rockets at police wagons and taking officers hostage? It’s ok—none of them will shoot back! Want to assassinate the mayor by posing as a member of his honor guard? No problem—policeman apparently have no idea what their peers look like, nor are they suspicious of people whose scars match those of the madman terrorizing the city.

For that matter, looking to kill the commissioner of police? Just sneak into his office off-camera. This same tactic can be used to load hospitals, ferries and abandoned warehouses with hundreds of barrels of explosives. It also comes in handy for leaving Bruce Wayne’s penthouse after Batman throws himself out the window. (“What’s that? Batman jumped out the window, leaving us alone in a room full of people we were terrorizing? Well, we might as well just take off then…”)

Continue reading The Dark Knight Is Strongman Claptrap—A Spoiler-Laden Review →

If Elected, Obama Needs to Strike While the Iron Is Hot

Political writer Rick Perlstein has an insightful article, “A Liberal Shock Doctrine,” at the American Prospect pointing out the danger of (fingers crossed) a President Obama taking an incremental approaches to progressive legislation. Evoking Clinton and Carter, Perlstein highlights the obstructive tactics available to legislative minorities within our governmental system (as well as the Republicans’ skill at mud-slinging).

Here’s how he introduces his argument:

Progressive political change in American history is rarely incremental. With important exceptions, most of the reforms that have advanced our nation’s status as a modern, liberalizing social democracy were pushed through during narrow windows of progressive opportunity — which subsequently slammed shut with the work not yet complete. The post–Civil War reconstruction of the apartheid South, the Progressive Era remaking of the institutions of democratic deliberation, the New Deal, the Great Society: They were all blunt shocks. Then, before reformers knew what had happened, the seemingly sturdy reform mandate faded and Washington returned to its habits of stasis and reaction.

The Oval Office’s most effective inhabitants have always understood this. Franklin D. Roosevelt hurled down executive orders and legislative proposals like thunderbolts during his First Hundred Days, hardly slowing down for another four years before his window slammed shut; Lyndon Johnson, aided by John F. Kennedy’s martyrdom and the landslide of 1964, legislated at such a breakneck pace his aides were in awe. Both presidents understood that there are too many choke points — our minority-enabling constitutional system, our national tendency toward individualism, and our concentration of vested interests — to make change possible any other way.

That is a fact. A fact too many Democrats have trained themselves to ignore. And it sometimes feels like Barack Obama, whose first instinct when faced with ideological resistance seems to be to extend the right hand of fellowship, understands it least of all. Does he grasp that unless all the monuments of lasting, structural change in the American state — banking regulation, public-power generation, Social Security, the minimum wage, the right to join a union, federal funding of education, Medicare, desegregation, Southern voting rights — had happened fast, they wouldn’t have happened at all?

I hope so. Because if Barack Obama is elected president with a significant popular mandate, a number of Democrats riding his coattails to the House, and enough senators to scuttle the filibuster of his legislative agenda — all of which seem entirely possible — he will inherit a historical opportunity to civilize the United States in ways not seen in a generation. To achieve the change he seeks — the monumental trio of universal health care, a sustainable energy policy, and a sane and secure internationalism — he has to completely reverse the way Democrats have habituated themselves to doing business. If they want true progress, they have to be juggernauts. American precedent gives them no other way.

Perlstein’s blog, The Big Con, offers an invaluable look at how 20th-century conservative philosophy and tactics continually re-assert themselves in political campaigns and governing. He’s definitely an author worth reading.

Jeanne Cook Blogs at Scrivel.com

FLYMF contributor Jeanne Cook has been regularly contributing pieces to the collaborative humor blog Scrivel.com. Under the penname The Great Corrupter, she uses a fun, irreverent voice to engage topics ranging from baseball to weaponized temper tantrums to the very special occasion of a group of Catholic-girls-school college students visiting a porno theater for the first time. Check it out!

Jeanne’s pieces for FLYMF include Earmuffs, Pet Psyches and Fun With Nuns.