Wayne Gladstone Does “Hate By Numbers” on Cracked.com

FLYMF Alums,

FLYMF alum Wayne Gladstone has done a humor-video series for Cracked.com, “Hate By Numbers,” offering funny rants about nonsense-plagued cable news programs. Sadly, the final installment, “HBN Says Goodbye,” appeared today.

While Wayne is taking a break from “Hate By Numbers” to focus on screenplays, you can still keep up with his latest news at his web site, Kafka Lives in Maine. The site includes the complete Hate By Numbers collection, other comedy videos, and links to his publications.

Among the latter is Wayne’s very funny work for FLYMF: New Ideas For Chris Hansen When He’s Done With To Catch A Predator, When George Lucas Gets His Hands On Other Blockbusters, Best Saturday Night Live Skits That Never Aired, and A Love Letter To Giardia Lamblia, The Parasite Formerly Living In My Small Intestine.

I Suppose Bush’s Name Becoming Synonomous With Failure is Better Than Nothing

Politics, , , ,

I thought this exchange between French President Nicolas Sarkozy and Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin was funny, in a chilling real-politic sort of way. From the Times Online:

With Russian tanks only 30 miles from Tbilisi on August 12, Mr. Sarkozy told Mr. Putin that the world would not accept the overthrow of Georgia’s Government. According to Mr. Levitte, the Russian seemed unconcerned by international reaction. “I am going to hang Saakashvili by the balls,” Mr. Putin declared.

Mr. Sarkozy thought he had misheard. “Hang him?” — he asked. “Why not?” Mr. Putin replied. “The Americans hanged Saddam Hussein.”

Mr. Sarkozy, using the familiar tu, tried to reason with him: “Yes but do you want to end up like [President] Bush?” Mr. Putin was briefly lost for words, then said: “Ah — you have scored a point there.”

In one good thing might come from our dimwit President’s disastrous reign, it could be that for generations to come, heads of state wake up, look at themselves in the mirror in the morning, and say, “Don’t pull a Bush today.”

As for Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili, he responded to this exchange as one might assume:

Mr. Saakashvili, who was in Paris to meet Mr. Sarkozy yesterday, laughed nervously when a French radio station read him the exchange. “I knew about this scene, but not all the details. It’s funny, all the same,” he said.

I bet he thinks it’s hilarious!

J.D. Smith, “The Best Mariachi in the World”

Books, FLYMF Alums, , ,

FLYMF contributor J.D. Smith has penned a children’s book, “The Best Mariachi in the World.” The story, illustrated by Dani Jones, is summed up as follows:

Everyone in Gustavo’s family is in a mariachi band . . .

Everyone except Gustavo, that is. They all play violines, trompetas and guitarrones. They all make wonderful music in restaurants and at wedding parties. Gustavo would love to join the band, but he can’t play any of the instruments. What’s a wannabe mariachi to do? Follow Gustavo as he finds his place in the family mariachi band.

On his Amazon blog, J.D. relates that he wrote the book 10 years ago while on his morning commute (luckily for the pedestrians who might otherwise have been mauled, Smith lives in Washington D.C., which has an excellent public transit system). The book is available in English, Spanish, and bilingual versions, making it a perfect gift for young ones interested in some language-bending. Check it out today!

J.D.’s work for FLYMF includes The Great Tuvalu Liquidation Sale and…uh, other titles that aren’t entirely fitting to be associated with a children’s book. But you can visit our contributor’s archive and browse down to find them yourself.

Palin “Didn’t Understand Africa Was a Continent”

Politics, ,

First seen on Daily Kos (via Balloon Juice), here’s a Fox News interview reporting that Sarah Palin “didn’t know which countries were in NAFTA” and “didn’t understand Africa was a continent rather than a country just in itself.”

Here’s a partial transcript provided by Daily Kos diarist ksh01:

Smith: Now that the election is over, Carl, tell us more about those reports of infighting between Palin and McCain staffers.

Cameron: I wish I could have told you more at the time but all of it was put off the record until after the election. There was great concern in the McCain campaign that Sarah Palin lack the degree of knowledgeability necessary to be a running mate, a vice president, and a heartbeat away from the presidency. We’re told by folks that she didn’t know what countries that were in NAFTA, the North American Free Trade Agreement, that being the Canada, the US, and Mexico. We’re told she didn’t understand that Africa was a continent rather than a country just in itself … a whole host of questions that caused serious problems about her knowledgeability. She got very angry at staff, thought that she was mishandled…..was particularly angry about the way the Katie Couric interview went. She didn’t accept preparation for that interview when the aides say that that was part of the problem. And that there were times that she was hard to control emotionally there’s talk of temper tantrums at bad news clippings……

How any can say that McCain ran a responsible campaign after hearing this is beyond me. Hopefully this kills any chance of a Palin resurgence in 2012. Apparently she really hasn’t read a newspaper, at any time, ever.

Election Returns by Population Density

Politics,

When nationwide maps of election returns are presented, one thing that bothers me is the disconnect between the size of a state (i.e., its physical landmass) and its population. Typical electoral maps (below) show vast swaths of red across the central United States, implying broad national Republican support, when in reality tiny Connecticut has more people than Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota and Wyoming combined.

When you adjust the map so that each state’s size is proportional to its population, the Democrats achieve a broader visual base of support.

Although that diminishes a bit when voting results are broken down by county in the same manner.

Of course, even the most liberal or conservative county doesn’t vote in concert (well, maybe a couple in Utah), so a map that’s color-coded to represent varying levels of voting support might be the best way to view the situation.

That’s America right there.

All images created by University of Michigan professor of Mark Newman, who does a much better job of explaining these concepts at his web site.