Todd VanDerWerff of the Onion A.V. Club is starting an episode-by-episode breakdown of David Milch’s Deadwood, perhaps the best television show of all time. It should be interesting to follow.
Category Archives: TV Party
A Bunch of Mealy-Mouthed %&@*suckers
For anyone who has argued that the particularly salty language on Deadwood is unrealistic, let me point you to a document issued by Major League Baseball in 1897 bemoaning the rampant (and creative) swearing in the game.
As presented by Robert Edward Auctions, it reads,
That such brutal language as “You cock-sucking son of a bitch!” “You prick-eating bastard!” You cunt-lapping dog!” “Kiss my ass, you son of a bitch!” “A dog must have fucked your mother when she made you!” “I fucked your mother, your sister, your wife!” “I’ll make you suck my ass!” “You cock-sucker!” and many other revolting terms are used by a limited number of players to intimidate umpires and opposing players, and are promiscuously used upon the ball field, is vouched for by the almost unanimous assertion of those invited to speak, and who are competent to speak from personal knowledge.
I wonder if David Milch has a copy of this. I haven’t watched Season 3 yet, but if no one’s called a “cunt-lapping dog” by the end of it, I’m going to be disappointed.
Handbags and Gladrags
The characters in Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant’s shows don’t suffer from a fear of falling—it’s too late for that. Instead, the predominant malaise is a fear of falling further, an abiding anxiety over what last reserves of dignity, pride and self-respect will have to be sacrificed to get through another day.
Coreys, meet Coreys
In a strange case of synchronicity, A&E network has announced a new show, “The Two Coreys,” which is set to debut this Sunday, July 29. As the show’s website announces:
Yes, you heard right, the Coreys are back together! Corey Haim and Corey Feldman met in 1987 on the set of the iconic teen film The Lost Boys. The “Two Coreys,” as they instantly became known, grew to be best of friends, growing up together both on and off screen. Propelled by their legendary onscreen chemistry, the two went on to star in a series of films that would define a generation, including The Lost Boys, Dream a Little Dream and License to Drive. They were kings of the 80s teen box office. Their posters hung on bedroom walls and their faces adorned countless magazine covers. They had it all. Money. Fame. Girls. Then each was faced with personal setbacks. While Feldman ultimately took control of his life, Haim’s life and career took a downturn. Now, nearly two decades later after taking separate paths in life, the friends are back together on-screen and under one roof in the A&E Real-Life series THE TWO COREYS, premiering July 29th at 10:00PM ET/PT.
This very premise, of course, was explored by FLYMF cartoonist Bobby D. Lux in his comic strip “The Coreys.” A coincidence? Perhaps. Life imitating art imitating Corey Haim’s need to pay off that Ferrari he totaled back in ’95? More likely.
At the moment, there are no plans to pursue litigation, but if “The Two Coreys” features Haim mistaking himself for Sean Astin, working the men’s room at LAX, or holding the same immobile position for episode after episode after episode after episode after episode, we may have to conclude some theft of intellectual property occurred.
(For the record, the celebrity we mistake Corey Haim for is Anthony Michael Hall.)
The Springfieldiad
I was born in 1980, I enjoyed geeky pastimes growing up, and when it comes to humor, the more esoteric, the better. I mention this to establish that I was once a fanatic for The Simpsons. In high school I knew when syndicated episodes were broadcast on three different channels, and there was a period, extending probably to 2000, where I’d seen every show ever made.
The Simpsons and I have long since parted ways. My TV watching has effectively dropped to zero, with the exception of a few Cubs games, and new writers, one-note characterization and non sequitur storytelling rendered the show I loved nearly unrecognizable. It’s been years since I’ve watched a new episode, and while I’ll probably see The Simpsons Movie when it’s released this Friday, I’m more nervous than excited at the prospect.