A Bunch of Mealy-Mouthed %&@*suckers

For anyone who has argued that the particularly salty language on Deadwood is unrealistic, let me point you to a document issued by Major League Baseball in 1897 bemoaning the rampant (and creative) swearing in the game.

As presented by Robert Edward Auctions, it reads,

That such brutal language as “You cock-sucking son of a bitch!” “You prick-eating bastard!” You cunt-lapping dog!” “Kiss my ass, you son of a bitch!” “A dog must have fucked your mother when she made you!” “I fucked your mother, your sister, your wife!” “I’ll make you suck my ass!” “You cock-sucker!” and many other revolting terms are used by a limited number of players to intimidate umpires and opposing players, and are promiscuously used upon the ball field, is vouched for by the almost unanimous assertion of those invited to speak, and who are competent to speak from personal knowledge.

I wonder if David Milch has a copy of this. I haven’t watched Season 3 yet, but if no one’s called a “cunt-lapping dog” by the end of it, I’m going to be disappointed.