Stephen Colbert took over Maureen Dowd’s column in the Sunday New York Times to offer an analysis of the 2008 Presidential race (if only the change were permanent–readers might gain insight into our political system instead of bon mots that Joan Rivers discarded for being too catty).

An excerpt:

Surprised to see my byline here, aren’t you? I would be too, if I read The New York Times. But I don’t. So I’ll just have to take your word that this was published. Frankly, I prefer emoticons to the written word, and if you disagree :(

I’d like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she’s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:

Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.

Colbert fails to take the plunge on entering the 2008 race, but he may have the distinction of being the first person to use an emoticon in the New York Times Op/Ed page. That is, unless you count the run in 2003 when they were saying, “Pentagon sources contend that Saddam Hussein hasn’t accounted for his weapons of mass destruction ;-)”